Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Simpleton Life

What with all the turmoil at the Vatican and the continuing struggle for Iraq's fledgling democracy, it's nice to finally see some real news come across the wires.

Yes, Paris Hilton has severed ties with her junkie pop-star-spawn friend, Nicole Richie. The uncharacteristically closed-lipped Hilton had only this to say: "Nicole knows what she did, and that's all I'm ever going to say about it."

Wow. Richie must have done something truly horrible, like release the phone numbers and email address of all of her rich and famous friends to the general public. Maybe it's because Richie lost a bunch of weight at the same time that Hilton put a bit of much-needed meat on her anorexic frame. Either way, one thing is for sure: life will never be, dare I say, so simple again.

Rumor has it that Kimberly Stewart, the spoiled rich-kid daughter of Rod Stewart, will replace Richie on The Simple Life. Given her lineage, Stewart is, of course, a bit difficult to look at. Paris must have looked high and low to find a ditzy blonde who could never out-prettify her, and, given that the PowerGirls skanks are otherwise disposed, I am impressed with her choice.

Who can argue that Paris Hilton is not destined to thrive in the harsh (and occassionally green-tinted) glare of the spotlight? I only shudder to think what the world stands to lose when Paris inevitably gives up the party circuit to take over the reins of her father's hotel empire.
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