Monday, August 01, 2005

Proof of God's Existence

My first inkling came as I watched the low-carb products moldering on the back shelves at the supermarket—dislodged from their once-proud perches near the premium toilet paper and imported sharp cheddars. Oh! How the mighty had fallen.

The news today that Atkins Nutritionals has filed for bankruptcy merely seals the deal. (Classic copy from the Daily News: The company filed for protection "apparently because it doesn't have the bread to pay its debts." Priceless.)

Dr. Atkins, who gets svelter by the day, must be spinning in the grave where he had been, until today, providing carb-free food for the worms.

Death to a pleasureless existence! Death to Atkins Nutritionals! Pass the Wheat Thins.
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