The End Times
Rounding out the Top 10 are:
- 2. Pamela Anderson
3. Britney Spears
6. Jennifer Lopez
10. Hurricane Katrina
The next ten aren't much better, but the Asian tsunami does make an appearance at number 15, showing that people have time to show a little heart once they're done looking at boobs. The list also helps us keep tabs on the battle of the tween superstars, with Lindsay Lohan coming in at number 17, three spots above arch-rival Hilary Duff. That could set off a tremendous cat fight which would in turn prompt millions of 13-year-old boys to masturbate. So goes the cycle of life.
Freakish Christian fundamentalists will be happy to know that "Christmas" comes in at number 26, one spot above the satanic Harry Potter, and lonely married women may be heartened by the fact that "Golf" fell from position 46 last year to number 98 this year. I guess you just can't masturbate to golf (and if you can, please don't write in to tell me).
Dictionary.com has released their own year-end list of the most looked-up words of 2005, one for each letter of the alphabet. The results here are similarly disconcerting. It's a fair bet that anyone who has to look up a word like "virtue" or "benevolent" is beyond help. The same can be said of all the people who searched for "irony," and I don't even want to think about why all those people had to search for the meaning of "love."
One surprise on the list was "karma." It could be chalked up to people who watch "My Name Is Earl," but I suspect the significance goes a bit deeper than that. It's pretty clear from the obsessions of the Internet savants that our world is in deep, deep trouble. Maybe people just want to read up on the thing that's going to get them in the end.