Thursday, January 05, 2006

My 'Yangi Yil' Resolution

It's nice to see Blogenfreude over at Agitprop giving a shout-out to Uzbekistan in a recent post. Honestly, there are far too few of them in Weblogistan. Appropriately, I had a parenthetical remark about the cozy Central Asian dictatorship back in June.

I have lost my shoe so I will have to bang my fist on the table instead

Blogenfreude has chosen Uzbek president Islam Karimov as the nightmare running mate for Bush's 2008 presidential bid (violence to the 22nd Amendment is foreseen). Karimov may not speak English very well (or Uzbek for that matter), but he does bring some useful people-boiling expertise to the fore. Blogenfreude has even created a nifty campaign sticker for the '08 campaign which is almost as awesome as the bumper sticker I imagined for the 2008 assault on the White House. The only problem I can foresee is that Karimov is unlikely to settle for Veep duties (although that seems to be where all the torture-and-killing action is these days).

My New Year's resolution this year was to not have a New Year's resolution (although I quite like this one: Quit eating fudge-covered Oreos on the treadmill). Blogenfreude has changed my mind. I'm going to mention Uzbekistan more often, and why stop there? All of Central Asia is in my sights, and beyond. Starting next week, after a little R&R to recuperate from all the holiday-season R&R, I'm going to start a series called "Crazy-Assed Dictator of the Week." Karimov is mighty tempting for round one, but Turkmenbashi of Turkmenistan is quite tempting, too. Then again, there's always an old classic like Kim Jong Il. Which Crazy-Eyez Killah will I choose? You're just going to have to wait and see. Sure the suspense is like torture, but don't forget: being boiled alive in an Uzbek prison is way more like torture.
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