Friday, March 03, 2006

Presidential Idol

Perhaps you've heard about a Fox television show called American Idol. Some sort of contest to see who can sing the crappiest music in the most conventional way. Apparently it's quite popular.

On Wednesday night, viewers phoned in 42 million votes to decide who got booted and who didn't on last night's show. For the sake of comparison, that's a scant 17 million fewer votes than John Kerry managed in the 2004 presidential election, and almost 10 times what Ralph Nader polled.

Sure, some people probably voted more than once, but hey, let's not fool ourselves into thinking that never happens in presidential elections, too. My proposal is that we farm out the 2008 election to Fox. The Fox & Friends anchors can judge the early rounds, weeding out crazy people and free-thinkers, and the final slate of candidates can be eliminated one by one based on phone-in votes.

One of the downsides of our current election system is that the field gets narrowed down too early and then there's an incredibly dull stretch where two guys each try to convince the American public that their entire life up to this point has not been a sham, that they look better in hunting gear and they're the one you'd rather have a beer with even though they each have more money than a dozen third world countries.

Using the American Idol model, the suspense of the race would be spread out, with gradual eliminations leaving only two candidates standing. Whichever one can sing "The Greatest Love of All" best, wins. Simple as that. The race for the presidency is already a popularity contest; this is just the next logical step.

It would be hot, dawg!
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