Monday, April 24, 2006

Hail Praise Satan!

Only 43 shopping days until Satan's Day! What are you going to get me? Since promoters can't seem to resist a silly gimmick, it looks like you'll have plenty of choices.

According to the LA Times, marketers are jumping at the chance to release their wares on June 6, which just happens to be 6/6/06. Boo! How seventh grade of them.

Here's the subhead from the Times story, which has my favorite juxtaposition of Ann Coulter's name ever: "Omen" film promoters, Ann Coulter and Radio Free Satan all look forward to June 6. I always suspected Coulter was in league with the devil. Now we have proof.

Coulter's new 'book', Godless, is scheduled to be released on Satan's Day. 'She' told FOX News 'journalist' Neil Cavuto that the release date was her "little tribute to liberals." So, not only are liberals godless according to Ann Coulter, they're Satanists. Charming. I guess that would explain the War on Christmas (not to mention the War on Easter, the War on Pentecost, and the bloody War on Shrove Tuesday).

The marketing effort for The Omen remake has been a bit of a haunted affair so far. Promoters hired planes to trail banners reading "You Have Been Warned" over beaches during spring break, which prompted a number of calls to the police and even a fighter jet response in Panama City, Fla. I'm just shocked that people were able to tear their eyes away from all those girls going wild to even notice.

6/6/06 also marks the beginning of Slayer's Unholy Alliance Tour and the release of The Stench of Redemption by Deicide. Best of all, the Church of Satan will hold a satanic high mass at the Steve Allen Theater on June 6. I wonder how poor Steve Allen feels about this. More to the point, I wonder how the Parents Television Council feels. After all, Steve Allen is the National Honorary Chairman Emeritus of the PTC's Advisory Board. Could there be a demo(n)tion in his future?
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