Friday, July 07, 2006

At a Cross-Roads

After several lovely trips back and forth along the I-70 corridor, the (parenthetical remarks) World HeadquartersTM is firmly ensconced in its new home of St. Louis, Mo.

Road trips are considerably less fun when in a 9-ton truck, let me tell you. I did have the distinct pleasure, however, of driving along highway 46 after dusk on July 3 and seeing a half-dozen Indiana fireworks displays in full bloom. I also gassed up the (parenthetical) Chariot in Pocahontas, Illinois, which is the home town of Gretchen Wilson (hell yeah and yee haw!!).

Look how freaking holy we are!

Anyone who has ever driven the stretch of I-70 between Indianapolis and St. Louis knows that neither of these things was the highlight of my journey. About seventy miles west of the Illinois border, at the junction of 70 and 57, is one of the most grotesque roadside attractions imaginable. Blighting the Eisenhower Interstate system is the effing cross of Effingham, a 198-foot monstrosity of Christian charity and love.

Completed in 2001, the massive cross at Effingham appears to have been constructed entirely out of aluminum siding. In line with the hideous mega-churches of the modern evangelical movement, the effing cross argues that when it comes to inspiring awe in God's majesty, beauty doesn't hold a votive candle to sheer size.

If memory serves, the last time religious zealots built a ridiculously tall structure to prove just how holy they were, it ended badly.
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