Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Golden Dunce Award

Sometimes you hear something so spectacularly stupid that it actually makes your teeth hurt. The Golden Dunce Award was created to give these utterances the honor they so richly deserve.

Last week, USA Today reported the asininity of one Frank Lasee, a Republican state representative from the great state of Wisconsin.
A state lawmaker, worried about a recent string of deadly school shootings, suggested arming teachers, principals and other school personnel as a safety measure and a deterrent....

"To make our schools safe for our students to learn, all options should be on the table," he said. "Israel and Thailand have well-trained teachers carrying weapons and keeping their children safe from harm. It can work in Wisconsin."
I've often remarked how similar Wisconsin is to Israel and Thailand—only with better cheese.

This is just what our schools need: more guns. In fact, if a 13-year-old can get his hands on an AK-47, the teachers should be packing shoulder-fired grenade launchers at minimum. As long as we all agree: the only way to fight guns is with more (and bigger) guns.

On the bright side, there won't be any more tardiness or late homework with Ms. Crabapple packing.

Congratulations, Frank Lasee! You've won the Golden Dunce Award.
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