Friday, November 10, 2006

Appetite for Jager-struction

The fact that Guns N' Roses canceled their upcoming show in Portland, Maine isn't news per se. What with the shredded throat, frequent arrests and constant batshit craziness of frontman Axl Rose, it's a miracle they ever played more than a dozen shows in their entire existence.

I suppose the reason this story crossed the wires today is the unbelievably stupid reason they called it off. Apparently, there's a law against bands drinking on stage in Maine. Apart from using his Salingeresque seclusion to put the really-truly-I-mean-it-this-time-I-swear final touches on Chinese Democracy, it looks like Axl's been reading up on libertarianism because he told the Maine Public Safety Department to sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na go to hell.

A band spokesman blamed the officials and their teetotaling policy for "making it impossible for the band to perform their show to the usual high standards that their fans deserve." The fans paid to see a shitfaced drunk Guns N' Roses and, by god, that's what they're going to get.

Axl issued an even weirder apology to his fans:
I agree with, and ultimately take responsibility for, the end decision not to jeopardize the safety of the fans, the crews, the bands and myself as a result of the methods of these particularly draconian authorities.
It wasn't immediately clear how a sober Gn'R would "jeopardize the safety of the fans". It's probably because a clear-headed Axl might remember the whole piano part to "November Rain", and that wouldn't be good for anyone.
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