Friday, November 23, 2007

Getting Away With Murder

New York City is on track to have fewer than 500 homicides in 2007—the lowest number in over 40 years.

How do you know I don't have a dirty bomb in one of my fists?

Something is obviously wrong, here. How could this be possible? Everybody knows that Mayor Giuliani was entirely responsible for the drop in NYC crime during his reign, thanks mostly to his manliness and his "I don't give a crap what you think" moxie. (Can you simultaneously have both manliness and moxie?) But America's Mayor left office in 2001 (not long after 9/11TM, as he might have mentioned once or twice), back when there were 661 murders in the city—the lowest figure for his years in office.

If NYC murders continue at the same pace for the last month of the year, there will be 487 murders in 2007. That means Rudy's lowest total would be 35.7% higher than this year's figure.

This raises some troubling questions. Does this mean that Mayor Bloomberg is a better mayor than Rudy (the greatest mayor of anywhere for all time), or, gasp!, 35.7% more of a man? Or could it be that Rudy was a beneficiary of serving as mayor during a time of drastic crime reductions across the entire country and his tough-on-crime tactics were only a part of a much bigger puzzle?

If you take away his anti-crime superhero cape and couple that with his serial exaggeration of the super-big role he played in keeping America safe from Islamofascists (and their $10,000 donations), all of a sudden Rudy doesn't appear to be even slightly qualified to run for president.

And that just can't be.
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